Good bye to our young friends

At my facility we are lucky to have a wonderful day care center less than a block away. For several years, we have teamed up with the pre-K class for intergenerational visits.  Because the daycare works on a school type schedule, the same children remain in the classes from September to August each year.  This year the Pre-K class was able to visit us every two weeks.  With the same children coming to visit each time, we have been able to watch them grow, and to watch the relationships between our seniors and the children grow and bloom as well.   We have watched their hesitation and fear of the elderly and visiting a nursing home, melt away.  After only a couple of visits, the kids realize the residents here are just older people who happen to need a wheelchair, and visiting a nursing home can be fun.  Each time they come to visit us, the children run to their special older friends.  They all have certain residents that they have bonded with and look forward to seeing each time they come. 

The teacher and I take turns deciding on what projects the group will be doing each week.  We have done everything from rock painting for the garden, to show and tell, with both children and seniors showing and sharing their treasured items.  (This event was especially popular).  Next week is our last visit as the children in this class will be moving off to kindergarten.  We are planning a good bye picnic with the senior and children sharing a meal in the garden (decorated with beautiful rocks).   It will be bittersweet to say good bye to this group of kids.  They have won a special place in the hearts of many seniors.  Several of the children have asked me if they could come visit after their class is done.  What a wonderful testament to the bond they have formed with their older friends! 

Update on Chloe...

My wonderful dog Chloe, is getting old, and it is starting to show.  She is nearly 14 now.  If we go by the thought that 1 dog year is equal to 7 human years, she would be close to 98 years old.   For the past year or so, we have noticed that she is slowing down and not enjoying the things she use to.  But just lately, her age is really become evident.  She is having hip problems and stumbles at times.  Occasionally her back leg entirely gives out and she falls.  She seems surprised when this happens.  She has also fallen part way down the stairs because of it.  All of these is very sad to watch.  It really breaks my heart.  This is the dog who hiked miles up mountians with us.  Who always went camping and loved it. 
The other day we put her outside to do her business in the morning and she disappeared.  She was discovered hours later in one of our neighbors' garage.  I honestly think that she might have wandered away and not been able to find her way home. I think she has doggy dementia.  She will often stand still in one spot and stare at the floor of the wall for long periods of time.  Or, the other extreme, wander around the house in circles, like she doesn't know what to do.  This restlessness, added with her staggering when her hip gives out, really puts me on edge.   To complicate matters  she seems to no longer be able to hear much at all.  And she has cataracts in both eyes.  Old age is the pits, even for dogs. 
The medicine the vet gave us for her hips, seems to be making her sick.  She has had diarrhea several times this week, only at night, and only when sleeping in the boys room.  Thank goodness we have a carpet cleaning vacuum!  Chloe has really made sure we got our money's worth this week.  So now she is off the new medicine, and we'll see what happens.  I am cooking rice and plain chicken for her.  The vet said a bland diet.  Chloe seems to be a bit picky about it though.  She is leaving a lot of the rice behind.  I may have to switch to pasta instead.  A girl after my own heart! 

Worlds are Colliding!!

Every two weeks, the Pre-K class from the daycare across the street from the Nursing home I work in, come to visit and do special projects with the residents.  This program has been set up for years.  Many of the staff here and the residents know that my boys go to that daycare.  For the last few years, they have been asking if my boys were in the group.   This is the first year, my oldest, K, is in the class that comes to visit. 

K has been coming to the nursing home every few months since he was born.  I mistakenly assumed he would have no problem visiting with his class. Unfortunately, it seems that his biggest problem is being here with both me in the room, and his class and teacher.  It is like his worlds are colliding!  He wants to sit near me and hug Mommy, but he is also trying to follow the directions and do what his teacher asks him.  Some visits are better than others, but it is an issue I never considered.  I guess for a 4 and ½ year old, it’s a little confusing to see your mom in a different setting.  Hopefully it has, and will be, a good learning and growing experience for him!  Personally I have always believed that any exposure to the elderly, and the nursing home setting, for children of any age, can only benefit them! 

Full Moon

If you have ever worked in a nursing home you know about the "full moon effect."  There are theories and talk about the full moon effecting behaviors of patients with dementia.  Those patients are said to have more confusion, agitation, wandering, and an increased number of falls due to the full moon.   I don't know if I really believe it, but I have never done a real study of it either.  Behaviors do seem to cycle.  Many residents seem to cycle with falls as well.  Whether it is the full moon may just be circumstance, but you never know.  Personally, I think that it is a way to explain things when we want to find an explanation, though it might not be the cause.   As caretakers, we are constantly trying to find the root cause of behaviors and falls.  If we can't figure out why a person's behaviors are escalating, maybe it is because of the full moon.  Why was there an increased number of falls over a weekend?  Must have been the full moon.
 We are always looking for answers, and sometimes, we can't find one, and therefore feel lacking.  Sometimes we also don't want to believe that we could be the cause.  Maybe the increase falls over the weekend have to do with staffing, or lack of programming etc.  Or maybe just the full moon!

Affection

There are times when my kids and the old people I work with both just want to be near me and to hold my hand or give me a kiss.  We aren't talking about the dirty old man type of wanting to give me a kiss, though that does happen occasionally.  There are ladies that just want to give someone a hug or a kiss.  One lady in particular, when she is awake and alert, will pull you in close and give you a kiss. She is very strong too, so you have to be careful because she can get you in a head -lock.  But everyone needs affection, and an affectionate touch.  I think when some people don't get affection that way enough, they reach out for it.  This happens with the elderly and those of us who work with them are use to it, but it can make others uncomfortable.  As adults we are often uncomfortable with touching others. 
 With my children, they want to sit on my lap or be close to me when we are together after a day at work.  At time it is smothering, but it is love.  But love from a child is a pure thing.  Some time I ask them to get off me and leave me alone for a while, but it doesn't last.  There are times when I needs a hugs from them as well! 

Veteran's Day

I am lucky to have a job in which I am required to get to know people and talk to them about thier lives.  Most people have an interesting story to tell, even if they don't think so.  working in a nursing home, I have meet some wonderful people and gotten to know some great men and women who have taught me lessons and things about myself.  I am blessed to know many great Veteran's from various wars.  Seeing pictures of my old friends in thier younger days in uniform can make you sad. But they are the lucky ones.  They lived to see thier old age.  Many didn't.  Many boys who served with these brave men didn't come back.  Seeing the pictures of them as handsome, brave, men standing proud in thier uniforms, makes me feel so lucky to know them.  These wonderful men ( and women), have lived a great life and came home for the war to raise families, work hard and be successful.  Comparing the photos of them then, in thier younger days to now, is just proof that they lived a long and mostly happy life.  They are rightly proud of thier service to thier country, and I and many others are proud to know them. 

quiet time

We all need a little quiet time. Sometimes at the nursing home, we wonder why our residents are agitated.  Maybe it is because they need some quiet in their day.  I know working with people all day who makes demands on me, and then going home to my wonderful, but very attention demanding boys, can be exhausting.  I find myself yearning for a day home alone.  We are always encouraging people to be involved, eat in the dining areas, be social, but maybe they just want to sit in their quiet room and have some solitude.  It they chose to do this, then it is perfectly acceptable.   Living in a nursing home is seldom a quiet place.  Our residents are surrounded by people.  They may have more contact with people now then they have in the last ten years.  Sometimes we have to realize that quiet is a good thing.  The brain needs that time to center itself and focus.  It gives us time to center our selves and rejuvenate our being.  Turn off the TV, turn off the radio and just enjoy the quiet.