Celebrate Life

Today a family member gave her mother (one of our residents) a "Celebration of Life" party.  Her mother, is declining.  When the daughter and the mother were discussing death and all that it entails, funerals etc, the mother stated she wants to be a part of the party.  Hence today's event.  It was a lot of fun and the mom and daughter, both had a great time and enjoyed themselves.  Celebrating someone's life when they are still alive doesn't happen that often.  But why not.  We need to let our elders know how much they are loved and appreciated when they are still with us.  Actually, we need to do that for everyone who is special to us; no matter what the age.  We all know that life is short and can be taken away from us at any time.  Celebrate life when your elderly loved one is still alive to celebrate, and feel loved and special.  She may be gone tomorrow.     

Bad Behavior

What do you do when the behavior of one person upsets another?  At my facility we had an incident where a resident with increased confusion was yelling at staff and calling them racial slurs and other derogatory names.  This resident has had a pretty quick cognitive decline and until recently has not been this belligerent and vocal.  Until recently, she was a relatively social woman who participated in many activities.  Her daughters visit her several times a week.  When she had this recent very public outburst, another resident who is a very social, cognitively active black woman, witness part of it.  She was deeply offended and took the words being said pretty personal, though they were not directed at her.

When she came to me obviously upset, I really could not offer her any comfort.  I tried to explain to her that the resident yelling is sick and it is her illness that is causing her to say such things.  And there are times when, though we would like to, we can not change a person’s behavior.    Just because you are in a nursing home, you are not sheltered from or immune to, the ugly in the world. 

Good bye to our young friends

At my facility we are lucky to have a wonderful day care center less than a block away. For several years, we have teamed up with the pre-K class for intergenerational visits.  Because the daycare works on a school type schedule, the same children remain in the classes from September to August each year.  This year the Pre-K class was able to visit us every two weeks.  With the same children coming to visit each time, we have been able to watch them grow, and to watch the relationships between our seniors and the children grow and bloom as well.   We have watched their hesitation and fear of the elderly and visiting a nursing home, melt away.  After only a couple of visits, the kids realize the residents here are just older people who happen to need a wheelchair, and visiting a nursing home can be fun.  Each time they come to visit us, the children run to their special older friends.  They all have certain residents that they have bonded with and look forward to seeing each time they come. 

The teacher and I take turns deciding on what projects the group will be doing each week.  We have done everything from rock painting for the garden, to show and tell, with both children and seniors showing and sharing their treasured items.  (This event was especially popular).  Next week is our last visit as the children in this class will be moving off to kindergarten.  We are planning a good bye picnic with the senior and children sharing a meal in the garden (decorated with beautiful rocks).   It will be bittersweet to say good bye to this group of kids.  They have won a special place in the hearts of many seniors.  Several of the children have asked me if they could come visit after their class is done.  What a wonderful testament to the bond they have formed with their older friends! 

Update on Chloe...

My wonderful dog Chloe, is getting old, and it is starting to show.  She is nearly 14 now.  If we go by the thought that 1 dog year is equal to 7 human years, she would be close to 98 years old.   For the past year or so, we have noticed that she is slowing down and not enjoying the things she use to.  But just lately, her age is really become evident.  She is having hip problems and stumbles at times.  Occasionally her back leg entirely gives out and she falls.  She seems surprised when this happens.  She has also fallen part way down the stairs because of it.  All of these is very sad to watch.  It really breaks my heart.  This is the dog who hiked miles up mountians with us.  Who always went camping and loved it. 
The other day we put her outside to do her business in the morning and she disappeared.  She was discovered hours later in one of our neighbors' garage.  I honestly think that she might have wandered away and not been able to find her way home. I think she has doggy dementia.  She will often stand still in one spot and stare at the floor of the wall for long periods of time.  Or, the other extreme, wander around the house in circles, like she doesn't know what to do.  This restlessness, added with her staggering when her hip gives out, really puts me on edge.   To complicate matters  she seems to no longer be able to hear much at all.  And she has cataracts in both eyes.  Old age is the pits, even for dogs. 
The medicine the vet gave us for her hips, seems to be making her sick.  She has had diarrhea several times this week, only at night, and only when sleeping in the boys room.  Thank goodness we have a carpet cleaning vacuum!  Chloe has really made sure we got our money's worth this week.  So now she is off the new medicine, and we'll see what happens.  I am cooking rice and plain chicken for her.  The vet said a bland diet.  Chloe seems to be a bit picky about it though.  She is leaving a lot of the rice behind.  I may have to switch to pasta instead.  A girl after my own heart! 

Worlds are Colliding!!

Every two weeks, the Pre-K class from the daycare across the street from the Nursing home I work in, come to visit and do special projects with the residents.  This program has been set up for years.  Many of the staff here and the residents know that my boys go to that daycare.  For the last few years, they have been asking if my boys were in the group.   This is the first year, my oldest, K, is in the class that comes to visit. 

K has been coming to the nursing home every few months since he was born.  I mistakenly assumed he would have no problem visiting with his class. Unfortunately, it seems that his biggest problem is being here with both me in the room, and his class and teacher.  It is like his worlds are colliding!  He wants to sit near me and hug Mommy, but he is also trying to follow the directions and do what his teacher asks him.  Some visits are better than others, but it is an issue I never considered.  I guess for a 4 and ½ year old, it’s a little confusing to see your mom in a different setting.  Hopefully it has, and will be, a good learning and growing experience for him!  Personally I have always believed that any exposure to the elderly, and the nursing home setting, for children of any age, can only benefit them! 

Full Moon

If you have ever worked in a nursing home you know about the "full moon effect."  There are theories and talk about the full moon effecting behaviors of patients with dementia.  Those patients are said to have more confusion, agitation, wandering, and an increased number of falls due to the full moon.   I don't know if I really believe it, but I have never done a real study of it either.  Behaviors do seem to cycle.  Many residents seem to cycle with falls as well.  Whether it is the full moon may just be circumstance, but you never know.  Personally, I think that it is a way to explain things when we want to find an explanation, though it might not be the cause.   As caretakers, we are constantly trying to find the root cause of behaviors and falls.  If we can't figure out why a person's behaviors are escalating, maybe it is because of the full moon.  Why was there an increased number of falls over a weekend?  Must have been the full moon.
 We are always looking for answers, and sometimes, we can't find one, and therefore feel lacking.  Sometimes we also don't want to believe that we could be the cause.  Maybe the increase falls over the weekend have to do with staffing, or lack of programming etc.  Or maybe just the full moon!