Exhaustion!

There is a lot you learn about yourself when you have kids.  I think your true self really comes out when you are exhausted.  And being exhausted is a much too common occurrence with young children. I thought once K and J were out of the infant stage, I wouldn't have days when I could fall asleep if I sat still for more than 5 minutes.  Oh, the naivety!   J has been sick; and when he doesn’t feel good, he doesn’t sleep good.  When he doesn’t sleep good, neither does Mom (me) or Dad.  Lucky for us, K sleeps like a rock and never wakes up during J’s nighttime crying sprees.  He is often the only one in the house getting a good night’s sleep.

I know I have next to no patience when I am tired.  Unfortunately this can affect both my work interactions, and more often my interactions with my boys.  At work I can generally keep myself in check, but at home, it seems harder to do. It's like my daily quota of patience was used up during the work hours.  K has a way of dillydallying  that is just so frustrating sometimes.  And when I have to ask him 5 times to get undressed or sit down in his chair etc, I find myself reaching the boiling point.  I am definitely more of a yeller at these moments than Dad is, ever.  And I often regret it later.  But that is something I learned about myself and I am working on to be a better parent.   I know my boys deserve my best, and don’t always get it.  I no I will never be a perfect parent, and that is OK too. 

 How about you?  What have you learned about yourself as a parent? (please share in the comment section below!) 

Tuning it out

At almost 4 years old, K. is and has been for a while now, in the "question stage".  Why?  What is….?  It is enough to drive you crazy sometimes.  Or at least, to drive me crazy.  Any parent out there, knows what I mean. There are days when I ask him to please, be quiet for 5 minutes.  And both my husband and I have used the answer to the why question, “Because it is!”  Sometimes, there is just no reason why, or why something is called what it is…(his second favorite question).  How do you explain some things to a not quite 4 year old?  The incessant questions are particularly trying to me in the car on the drive home after work.   Some days he won't let up until he gets an answer.
Since I work in a nursing home, I spend part of my time everyday with residents with dementia.  Granted, these are often some of my favorite people to work with.  But there are days…  Even though their repetitive questions are different, and are being asked over and over again for a different reason; there are times the similarities of the question assault is overwhelming.   I will admit, being asked twenty times in 10 minutes when Bob is going to come visit by an 83 year old, or why something is what it is by a 3 year old, takes all my patience and energy.    There are times when I tune it out, no matter who is asking the question.
Being not the best employee and mother is at times the only way to save my sanity. I know we all do it at times.  We walk by the resident asking questions and we pretend we didn’t hear her.  We tell our child we don’t know the answers, or it just is, that's way.  Sometimes it is too much.  As much as we try, we sometimes have to do what is best to keep our own sanity.  At times we only have so much of ourselves to give.  At times I feel guilty.  But I know I am not alone.  Am I?