Monday, February 14, 2011

Tuning it out

At almost 4 years old, K. is and has been for a while now, in the "question stage".  Why?  What is….?  It is enough to drive you crazy sometimes.  Or at least, to drive me crazy.  Any parent out there, knows what I mean. There are days when I ask him to please, be quiet for 5 minutes.  And both my husband and I have used the answer to the why question, “Because it is!”  Sometimes, there is just no reason why, or why something is called what it is…(his second favorite question).  How do you explain some things to a not quite 4 year old?  The incessant questions are particularly trying to me in the car on the drive home after work.   Some days he won't let up until he gets an answer.
Since I work in a nursing home, I spend part of my time everyday with residents with dementia.  Granted, these are often some of my favorite people to work with.  But there are days…  Even though their repetitive questions are different, and are being asked over and over again for a different reason; there are times the similarities of the question assault is overwhelming.   I will admit, being asked twenty times in 10 minutes when Bob is going to come visit by an 83 year old, or why something is what it is by a 3 year old, takes all my patience and energy.    There are times when I tune it out, no matter who is asking the question.
Being not the best employee and mother is at times the only way to save my sanity. I know we all do it at times.  We walk by the resident asking questions and we pretend we didn’t hear her.  We tell our child we don’t know the answers, or it just is, that's way.  Sometimes it is too much.  As much as we try, we sometimes have to do what is best to keep our own sanity.  At times we only have so much of ourselves to give.  At times I feel guilty.  But I know I am not alone.  Am I?


David A. Cleinman said...

No, not alone. And don't geel guilty, at least for more than 20 seconds. Trying to answer a question when there is no answer is impossible. So either have fun and make up a reasonable answer, or keep doing what you're doing.


Janette said...

Yea, have to say, depending on the day, sometimes I make up the answer, and sometimes not. Usually at work, making up an answer works for a short time, at home, it generally leads to more questions!